preparation for marriage

So, marriage then, what's that all about? I guess i should really give that some thought. 6 months ago i would have said that marriage was about commiting yourself to one person that you love, sharing your stuff and your lives and living together for the rest of your days in loving companionship - in a nutshell, that would be it. Today i find, or at least i've come to realise over the last couple of weeks, that although they are good, sturdy and worthy aspects of marriage they are not the whole story, or, in fact much more than a preface to the real meat of this pie. We've just finished a "Marriage preparation" course that our church runs for all members of the church who are embarking on this marriage lark. This is one of the things that church is really good at - life training - might sound a bit hippy and all that but it's such a vital and helpful thing that you just don't get out there in the real world. It's free, it's done couple to couple where you have a number of sessions with an older and wiser married couple in the church and deconstruct the whole marriage idea into the nuts and bolts of what it's all about. There was one particular thing that came out that i hadn't really considered before, and that was the spiritual aspect to marriage. As a christian i know that marriage is a gift from god but i hadnt really thought through the implications of that. It's quite simple really. God created marriage as the ultimate expression of love between two people. God created man and woman, and created marriage to bind them together physically, mentally and spirtually for the celebration of his kingdom here on earth. It mirrors the relationship between christ and the church and there is no higher form of love. So we're not just deciding to create a partnership for tax reasons, we're fulfilling Gods commandments and bringing glory to him - how cool is that? I don't think i've ever done anything that's purposely pleasing to God and on Saturday we are declaring his love for us and our love for each other in spectacular fashion. When God joins people together something happens. My whole approach to this marriage has changed dramatically. I knew i loved Maria and i knew that i would do anything for her, whereas now i want to do everything for her! I want to make Maria's life the most amazing, fulfilling and wonderful life she ever thought possible. It is absolutely my God given responsibility to ensure her happiness for the rest of our lives and that means giving myself completely to her. That's how it works, that's why it works. With Maria doing exactly the same thing in my direction we can't help but meet in the middle in a huge bundle of bliss. Of course the world is going to bash on in and try to throw selfishness, boredom or laziness at us and we will ride these things out because we have our love for each other and for God to rest on. It's an amazing thing, my emphasis has shifted from looking out for myself with reference to Maria, to looking out for Maria - full stop! I'm not there yet, but once we're married and god has joined us then we're going to have a bloody good go at it :)

All very grand and lovely words i know, but this is what it's all about. I will love Maria as Jesus loved his church, which means that i would die for her and serve her with every fibre of my being. For her part Maria will allow me to love her, and support me in my service of her and serve me right back. It's a wonderful combination of self sacrifice and love that simple flies in the face of modern secular thinking and that, my friends, is awe inspiring - if we didn't spend all our time worrying about "me time" and our careers and what we want to do and how that affects us and put the person we love first, without question, the world would be a very different place.

Contrary to popular belief God also invented sex and we're commanded to do it often and do it well :) Sex is designed for marriage, it's where it can take on a whole spiritual, and deeply intimate aspect that you won't find outside of it's natural habitat. I for one find that very exciting. My cynical side does want to jump up and slap me with a big wet trout but i'm having none of it. I believe that with gods help and our love for one another we can remain newly-weds for the rest of our lives.

What a funny man i turned out to be!

And i've just eaten a whole pint tub of Haagen-Dazs vanilla caramel brownie - so not everythings changed then :)